A tale of two tales

This is a tale of two tales.

One began roughly 2.5 billion years ago, and the other begins on Hogmanay (31 December) 2022.

This stone is the hero of the first tale. It has lain on a beach on the island of Iona, one of the inner Hebridean islands off the west coast of Scotland, for somewhere between 2 billion and 3 billion years – it is so ancient that it contains no fossils because it predates life on earth as we know it.

Many believe that rocks and crystals receive, store, and emit vibrational frequencies that reflect and impact their environment. With Iona’s role as a place of spiritual pilgrimage, you can easily imagine that all the prayers, voices, and acts of love, appreciation, and gratitude that have been felt and expressed for thousands of years have become embedded in the very rocks themselves.

To take a fair guess, given the population of Iona ( around 170) and the number of stones on the beach (thousands), it is probable that no humans had ever touched this stone until my friend Sandra selected it from the beach at The Bay at the Back of the Ocean, and knew it was exactly the right stone we had been looking for.

It was time for the stone’s next mission in its long, long life.

The second part of the tale of two tales began on 31 December 2022, just 9 months ago.

For a good few years now, some people have automatically assumed that I’m a marriage celebrant.

I have no idea what kind of vibe I give off that tells them that, and in the dying months of last year it got to silly proportions. Two to three times a month people were randomly asking me;

“Do you still do weddings?”

“Are you still doing weddings?”

“Are you still a celebrant?”

And then just after Christmas last year my husband Steven and I were visiting some dear friends. They’re a lot younger than us and dealing with everything that your thirties bring – house renovations, organising kids’ lives, and generally trying to retain their sanity through it all.

Steven said to Rebecca – so when are you and Sam going to tie the knot?

Rebecca quite rightly said they had their hands full, hadn’t really had the time but had notionally looked at March 2024.

Then Rebecca looked at me and said, ‘Do you still do weddings, Maggie?’

I laughed, Steven laughed and then he said, ‘Maybe it’s about time you started’.

And so, when we got home I started researching what you need to do to become a marriage celebrant in Australia.

1. Study and obtain a Certificate IV in Celebrancy – takes about a year

2. Once you have the cert iv, apply to the Attorney General’s Department for registration

3. Marry lots of people

I found a training organisation that would let me do remote, online study and I commenced on Hogmanay, 31 December 2022, loved it with a passion, and on 21 August received my Certificate IV in Celebrancy.

We had to work out what our unique selling proposition would be. So, I thought long and hard about my approach.

And somewhere on Iona, the stone nudged its way up the beach just a little, just to be nearer where the people walk.

I realised that my USP, whether I liked it or not, was my accent. I’ll never get rid of it or fit it to be like all of the other lovely Adelaide celebrants. I did once try to fit in. Attending school in Adelaide in my teens my friends tried to teach me how to speak like an Adelaide kid.

I remember the most common lesson – ‘hamburger’. 'Say hamburger', they’d say, and I’d say it in my own accent – humbugu. Then I had to repeat it phonetically, syllable by syllable after them – hem-boo-ga. Hembooga. But when I went back to Glasgow they thought I was trying to be posh, so I had to go back to speaking like a Glaswegian.

When I first came back to Adelaide to live in the late 90s I had a part-time job as a brand ambassador for Johnnie Walker Black Label whisky. Great job, and it gave me great satisfaction to be able to blend the culture of my birth with my new homeland. So, I decided to do the same with celebrancy.

Scotland and Ireland have so many ancient rites and rituals to mark life’s stages – some pre-Christian times, some post-Christian. I thought it might be good to offer these options to people as part of my celebrancy service.

One of these ancient rituals is called the oathing stone ritual - some say it’s where we get the saying ‘written in stone’. During this ritual, the couple being married place their hands on the stone as they recite their vows, thereby having their solemn and sacred promises kept for eternity in the stone.

I knew I wanted a special oathing stone that connected me to the sacred past of Scotland.

So, the first thing I did was Google Australian Border Force – I didn’t want to be unwittingly bringing in a biohazard – but it was okay – as long as the stone was scrubbed clean it would be allowed.

Next, everything just seemed to fall into place.

Sandra works on Iona over the summer months, and I asked her if she would find for me from the beach a heart-shaped stone, weighing no more than 1 to 2 kg and would fit comfortably in the palm of your hand.

The search took a little while, but our stone must have placed itself in pole position for Sandra to find it.

She was preparing to send it to me here in Australia via postage, and then I got a message from her: “ I’ve got a couple staying here in the accommodation on the island. They’re from Adelaide and they said they’d be happy to bring the stone back for you.”

And that’s why about a month later Steven and I were sitting in a beer garden in lovely spring sunshine, with this lovely couple, hearing all about their travels, comparing our own travel stories, and of course, this being Adelaide, discovering that we had friends in common.

So, having taken the nudges from the Universe, I’m trusting that I’m heading in the right direction.

- I’ve gained the Cert iv in Celebrancy

- I’ve applied for registration as an authorised marriage celebrant (it takes about three months to come through so I’m hoping I’ll be registered by Christmas)

- I’ve got just the right stone

In my experience, when the Universe gives you a nudge, taking a trusting step in the right direction incites it to rush in and support your endeavours, so here’s my public statement of trust.

Hello, I am Maggie, the Celtic Celebrant.

Okay, Universe, I can’t wait to see why you’ve brought me down this trail – let’s see what the next steps bring.